Positive people, who see the cup half full, always see the silver lining, find the window behind every slammed door, or are just happy to wake up every morning (in my sweetest most sarcastic little girl voice) make want to blow chunks.
When I'm having a moment... I mean a really dark moment...Wait, let me just paint the picture for you.
Currently, I wake up and go to sleep every day with a headache, I recently had to quit the VERY part time job that keeps me from drowning in bills every month, I can no longer make it to the gym due to my kids crazy school schedules, My daughter is 9 going on 19, my sons teacher has informed me that he is "the bad kid", my husbands and my idea of a date these days is falling asleep in the same part of the apartment, and to top things all of, I think my car has emphysema.
Now like I started to say earlier...When I'm having a moment, the last freakin' thing I want to hear is: "Don't worry the glass is still half full". Clearly you can see that what ever tinged substance was left in the said glass, has been, gulped, gargled, and swallowed by the HA HA Your Life Sucks And Now Your Thirsty Too Fairy
I really don't mean to be the Negative Nancy, right now, or better yet negaTIFFANI, but being knocked unconscious really doesn't sound that bad. Sleeping for a few extra hours, a few extra days if your lucky, sounds A-W-S-O-M-E. Giving the body a chance to catch up to the brain might be just what the Dr. ordered. Slip in a free mani and pedi while I'm stretched out on the hospital gurney, and I could totally see this being the newest trend in spa vacations.
Ok, Ok this blog is starting to sound a little suicidal. All I'm saying is, sometimes it gets so crazy in life that it's hard to see a break in all those dark clouds. When things have been continuously arduous, reassuring words sound more like annoying little fallacies.
*sigh* Well don't let me be the bearer of bad news... You guys keep pushing and keep your heads up......UGH now I'm doing it too.
Deuces
Friday, October 7, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
I might possibly be a stalker!!
Celebrities have never really.....done it for me. I've never been the type to care what the latest Hip Hop sensation was wearing, or what new drama the "it" Hollywood couple was up to. And baby bumps? Please. I got my own stretch marks and two knuckle head kids to look at. Keeping up with the Kardashians or any other celebrity news, gossip, or fashion, was something to do when I sat on the toilet.
However, over the last year or so I have joined the celebrity bandwagon. My wagon of choice? Beyonce Knowles. I love love love Beyonce. She is the epitome of everything I wish I could be. She's always such a lady, even when she's rocking out to her boo; Jay Z's, hood anthems. I think she is toothache sweet with her modesty, and how much she adores her fans. She and Jay Z, truly bring out the romantic in me, as they continue to keep the most juicy parts of their marraige mysterious. By being vague when when asked about one another, and keeping their public displays down to a bare minimum, it intrigues me even more. If ever I decided to grow up, I want to be just like them.
However, I've come to realize that my new found admiration for BeyBey (my nickname for her if ever we were to become bff's. We would be great best friends:)is actually an antithesis to the real issue which is... I WANT HER LIFE. She can sing... I can hum really really well. She can dance...I can electric slide. She's married to entrepreneur, business man, rapper Jay Z...I'm married to high school sweetheart, father of my children, NOT a rapper, K(ay)D. She shops at Bergdorf...I shop at Thrift Sores. She's gorgeous inside and out....Hell..... I'm...Tiffani.
Though clearly there are many differences that separate me and The Queen, we actually have a few things in common. This year we both turn 30. She's been with her man for 10 years, I've been married to mine for 10. She writes songs about the love of her life, I blog about mine. Both of us feel that there is no greater power then the power of a powerful woman.
I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that someday my ambitions of being as powerful a women as Mrs. Knowles-Carter is superseded by the actuality of it.
Pray for me!! I promise I'll break you off a piece of my celebrity money!!
Deuces :)
However, over the last year or so I have joined the celebrity bandwagon. My wagon of choice? Beyonce Knowles. I love love love Beyonce. She is the epitome of everything I wish I could be. She's always such a lady, even when she's rocking out to her boo; Jay Z's, hood anthems. I think she is toothache sweet with her modesty, and how much she adores her fans. She and Jay Z, truly bring out the romantic in me, as they continue to keep the most juicy parts of their marraige mysterious. By being vague when when asked about one another, and keeping their public displays down to a bare minimum, it intrigues me even more. If ever I decided to grow up, I want to be just like them.
However, I've come to realize that my new found admiration for BeyBey (my nickname for her if ever we were to become bff's. We would be great best friends:)is actually an antithesis to the real issue which is... I WANT HER LIFE. She can sing... I can hum really really well. She can dance...I can electric slide. She's married to entrepreneur, business man, rapper Jay Z...I'm married to high school sweetheart, father of my children, NOT a rapper, K(ay)D. She shops at Bergdorf...I shop at Thrift Sores. She's gorgeous inside and out....Hell..... I'm...Tiffani.
Though clearly there are many differences that separate me and The Queen, we actually have a few things in common. This year we both turn 30. She's been with her man for 10 years, I've been married to mine for 10. She writes songs about the love of her life, I blog about mine. Both of us feel that there is no greater power then the power of a powerful woman.
I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that someday my ambitions of being as powerful a women as Mrs. Knowles-Carter is superseded by the actuality of it.
Pray for me!! I promise I'll break you off a piece of my celebrity money!!
Deuces :)
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Tiffani's Turning Thirty
For any of you that don't know but care to, in a few short months I will be turning Thirty.. For some, this milestone could be a reminder of how little in life has been accomplished. For others, turning 30 may solidify the fact that their membership in the fabulous 20-something club has been.....*gulp* TERMINATED. Goodbye to the days of fornicating for fun, and not minding the fact that our private parts feel like they've been wiped with sand paper. Adios, to eating what I want when I want, and not having to worry that my ass has become an obstruction during high peak traffic times.
For all those who join me in turning 30 this year, and are ready to except that the 20-something party cruise has officially crashed, sank and burned; I welcome you. I want you to share in my excitement, as we gladly receive our new found fondness, of the smell of that stuff you rub on your knees when you stay out past 9:30pm. Let us revel in the fact that we can still be fashionable (thank God) by wearing all the billowy tops that are, thankfully "in" right now. These tops allow us to skip the dreadful gym and continue enjoying our new favorite pastime...SLEEPING.
I don't know about the rest of the female population, But turning Thirty has somehow managed to make me feel like an Uber-Adult. It's great! All the gulit of struggling to fit into the 20-something ideal, has quickly diminished. No more anguish over the fact that while....*clears throat* pleasuring the hubby, I'm also redecorating, making a grocery list, and planning the weekends activities. I'm over the pressure of feeling like to have a "good night" out at the club I have to drink drinks that come to the table somking with flames and a cloudy residue. I'll take one glass of red wine any day of the week, because truthfully anything past one glass and the title of this post would have to be changed to Tiffani's Having A Baby...At Thirty.
With that said. I hope there's a few out there who, with me, roll their eyes when they hear anyone even whisper the words "Thirty is the new twenty". Hell no it ain't...especially over here *points to self*. Over here Thirty is just one more year older then 29, and excited to no longer have to fake the young people funk.
Deuces ;}
For all those who join me in turning 30 this year, and are ready to except that the 20-something party cruise has officially crashed, sank and burned; I welcome you. I want you to share in my excitement, as we gladly receive our new found fondness, of the smell of that stuff you rub on your knees when you stay out past 9:30pm. Let us revel in the fact that we can still be fashionable (thank God) by wearing all the billowy tops that are, thankfully "in" right now. These tops allow us to skip the dreadful gym and continue enjoying our new favorite pastime...SLEEPING.
I don't know about the rest of the female population, But turning Thirty has somehow managed to make me feel like an Uber-Adult. It's great! All the gulit of struggling to fit into the 20-something ideal, has quickly diminished. No more anguish over the fact that while....*clears throat* pleasuring the hubby, I'm also redecorating, making a grocery list, and planning the weekends activities. I'm over the pressure of feeling like to have a "good night" out at the club I have to drink drinks that come to the table somking with flames and a cloudy residue. I'll take one glass of red wine any day of the week, because truthfully anything past one glass and the title of this post would have to be changed to Tiffani's Having A Baby...At Thirty.
With that said. I hope there's a few out there who, with me, roll their eyes when they hear anyone even whisper the words "Thirty is the new twenty". Hell no it ain't...especially over here *points to self*. Over here Thirty is just one more year older then 29, and excited to no longer have to fake the young people funk.
Deuces ;}
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Damn Damn Damn...
Damn Damn Damn....I've done it again.
It never fails. I am convinced that I am the best at nothing. No one can beat me at that. Since my last post on this blog I have attempted several other things that were supposed to have thrust me into fame and fortune. Keep on reading for a list of my most current failures.
Besides my NormAnomaly blog I have started a YouTube channel called SideBar Thoughts with Tiffani as well as a book blog called The Book-Lyn Project. All of which I have sadly done a less then mediocre job at. I just don't get it. I'm supposed to be raking in the dough right now, have my own television show, brand of soda, and a pretty awesome vehicle whose name sounds like something similar to the sound you make right before you hawk up a loogie.
So with these newest additions to add to my list of derelictions, I have come to a conclusion. The improbable, feeble, and simply put....lame attempts I have made at reaching my dreams and aspirations have been dependent on what I have finally figured out to be my one true nuisance....POPULARITY!!
Ugh!! As the feelings of JHS/HS days come rushing back to me. I have always been that girl who everybody knew....but didn't know well enough to give two shits about. I was the one in high school who started the trend of wearing stockings with two different colored legs. For several months I rocked my half white half navy blue stockings, not caring who thought it was a fashion cry for help. When I finally got sick of my mother yelling at me for ripping up all my stocking I stopped. To my dismay, one of the more popular girls (who will remain nameless), with her cheerleading ass picked up where I left off, and the one white leg one blue leg trend began.....AGAIN.
That story pretty much sums up the crap that I call my life.
Anywho, keeping this short and sweet. Stay tuned for more failed attempts at being something great.
Dueces
It never fails. I am convinced that I am the best at nothing. No one can beat me at that. Since my last post on this blog I have attempted several other things that were supposed to have thrust me into fame and fortune. Keep on reading for a list of my most current failures.
Besides my NormAnomaly blog I have started a YouTube channel called SideBar Thoughts with Tiffani as well as a book blog called The Book-Lyn Project. All of which I have sadly done a less then mediocre job at. I just don't get it. I'm supposed to be raking in the dough right now, have my own television show, brand of soda, and a pretty awesome vehicle whose name sounds like something similar to the sound you make right before you hawk up a loogie.
So with these newest additions to add to my list of derelictions, I have come to a conclusion. The improbable, feeble, and simply put....lame attempts I have made at reaching my dreams and aspirations have been dependent on what I have finally figured out to be my one true nuisance....POPULARITY!!
Ugh!! As the feelings of JHS/HS days come rushing back to me. I have always been that girl who everybody knew....but didn't know well enough to give two shits about. I was the one in high school who started the trend of wearing stockings with two different colored legs. For several months I rocked my half white half navy blue stockings, not caring who thought it was a fashion cry for help. When I finally got sick of my mother yelling at me for ripping up all my stocking I stopped. To my dismay, one of the more popular girls (who will remain nameless), with her cheerleading ass picked up where I left off, and the one white leg one blue leg trend began.....AGAIN.
That story pretty much sums up the crap that I call my life.
Anywho, keeping this short and sweet. Stay tuned for more failed attempts at being something great.
Dueces
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